Recipe for Disaster

Disaster, in this case, being a vaginal yeast infection. If you don't think that's a disaster, you've never suffered an intractable one that resists the best efforts of over-the-counter creams. And not had the time or cash to go to the doctor to get the scrip that might not work anyhow.

The good news: there is a relatively inexpensive and natural way to fight even a really horrible yeast infection. The only side effect is that you'll go on and on, in mixed company, about how great it is that you're finally shed of that horrid yeast, and would you like to hear about it, barkeep?

A word on the OTC creams/suppositories: I have three problems with them. One is that I suspect their greasiness sometimes "seals off" the yeast, leaving a few of the rat bastards stuck to your vaginal wall to multiply again when the barely effective medication wears off. The second is that sometimes they really BURN. And they make a big old mess. Third, they don't do anything to right the imbalance in vaginal pH or flora that caused the problem in the first place. How does cramming a bunch of mineral oil up in your snatch fix ANYTHING? 

Then there's the yogurt school of thought. Which is okay -- partial credit -- but marginally effective. The garlic clove method works a little better but your breath WILL smell like garlic, and garlic kind of kills everything. Plus you've done nothing to correct whatever's gone horribly awry in your vagina.

So. What I'm about to impart to you is hardly a secret -- you can find it in student health brochures and old-school medical professionals know about it -- but it's not widely used, which is a shame. Because it works so darn well.

Here's your shopping list:

• 1 bottle pharmaceutical grade Boric Acid Powder (this is the stuff you want) It can be hard to find -- I have found it at drugstores, one grocery store in the drugstore section, and a vitamin shop-type place. It might be with the opthalmic products, as it's used in making eyewashes as well. Ignore any scary warnings on the bottle -- diluted, you can put it right in your eye. Just don't eat it and you'll be fine.
• 00 Gelatin Capsules (like so) These are easier to find -- most health food stores carry them, and you can sometimes even find them in the bulk section and scoop out however many you want.
• Vinegar-water douche Summer's Eve makes one that's widely available. I mean, you could make your own if you wanted to but they're cheap and they're everywhere. Make sure it doesn't have anything besides vinegar and water and maybe benzoic acid.
• Acidophilus capsules The best ones are sold in a refrigerator case but if that's not an option the room-temp ones are okay -- as long as they're capsules and not solid tablets.

Take your boric acid powder and fill a few of the 00 capsules. About half-full is as good as you're going to get, but amount isn't that important. Set the filled capsules aside. 

Remove the lid from your douche bottle and dump a couple capsules' worth of the acidophilus powder in there. Shake shake shake. Repair to the bathroom and hose things out. "Won't all that vinegar hurt my poor tender ladybits?" you may wonder. The answer is no, it won't, because that part of your body is designed to be acidic anyway. In fact it may even feel soothing to irritated tissues. 

So! Now you've re-acidified your vagina, the bad guys are dying, and you've deposited a bunch of beneficial acid-loving bacteria in there to replace them. Take one of your boric acid capsules and insert it as far up as you can. The capsule will dissolve after a while, and the boric acid powder will leave your body as a whitish goo, so do it before bed and wear your period underpants or a liner of some sort. 

Repeat for 2-3 nights. You can usually get away with douching just once at the beginning of treatment and using only the boric acid capsules the other nights; if you have a really bad one that has resisted other treatments, you might douche, skip a night and just use the capsule, and then douche a third night before you put in your capsule. 

If you are treating preventatively (say, if you're starting a course of antibiotics) you can try just the capsules as well. 

And that's about it. Simple, cheap, easy to do. The hardest part is finding the boric acid powder. Big thanks to Jill for imparting this method to me many years ago. 

 

 

Comments

[Jill]

This cure saved me when nothing else did. I am so thankful you shared it with me. I found boric acid at the pharmacy, behind the counter... so ask the pharmacist if you can't find it.

[Gee Oh Vee]

Any thoughts on this: http://www.newchapter.com/probiotics/probiotic-all-flora#supplement-facts ?
I bought it to help with yeast and then discovered that the prebiotic aspect had things like soy and apple and I feared that my vag would not appreciate such things, so I have only used it orally.

Regarding the boric acid powder, I have found that the best method for filling the capsules is to dump some out onto the lid of a container (like what the Chinese store lemonade comes in, or the bulk pickle container) and plow the open capsule through the powder pile. Alllso, you can use the empty acidophilus capsules for the boric acid since you're chucking them anyway. (I live in New York City, yet somehow I have been completely unable to find empty capsules ANYWHERE.)

[Armin Tamzarian]

I had thrush for like 2 weeks one time. I got it after having some ridiculous stomach virus/bacterial infection.
Sorry. Just trying to relate. Fucking vaginocentric blog.

[Dr. A]

Well I can't resist this one ...

Agreed! AND let me add a slew of things:

1. Don't let a doctor (or ask a doctor to) give you antibiotics for bronchitis or an ear infection or "in case it's strep" or "in case it turns bacterial" or most sinusitis (because in adults - even mostly in children - those are ALL from viruses, and even if there were a bacteria in there somewhere, your body CAN handle it) and you'll be way less likely to get the yeast infection (vaginal or oral, Armin) in the first place. If you are reasonably healthy at baseline, antibacterial antibiotics are for near-certain strep, bladder infections, some skin infections, and pneumonia.

2. They sell plain gelatin in capsules - that's what I used to empty out for this treatment

3. You're not looking to eradicate every last shred of yeast - you're just trying to reestablish a balance

4. Cutting sweets and other simple carbs out of your diet can help a lot, and if not, it's good for you anyway

5. The over the counter yeast creams that are the old-fashioned 7 day treatments (as opposed to the 1 or 3 day ones) have the least oil in them, which, yes, doesn't agree with the poon

6. One dose of oral flucanazole is the least violent prescription approach I've found, but takes a couple of days for results

[Dr. A]

Oh! and! they sell boric acid powder as roach killer! just make sure it's the 100% kind ... WITHOUT roach bait :-O

[Jo]

WORD, Dr. A! Those are GREAT additions!