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The Slanket!
I remember when it happened to you, Bridget. You texted me about it, and like a few days later, another close friend of ours let me know it happened to her a lot. I've had horny losers ask me if I do, which to me is their way of saying, 'I spend most of my day watching Dansmovies.com!' The answer for me is no, and I thank Jo for enlightening me as to how to make it happen (though I've done all that and seen no result).

I vote incontinence. Totally. Pee can sometimes be crystal clear and have virtually no odor, especially if you hydrate like a mofo. I'm assuming if it's clear and odorless, it's tasteless, but I wouldn't know. I've had plenty of organisms (ha), alone and with others, and there hasn't once been a squirt. Not to be confused with being really really wet. So, my vote, it is b.s. And besides, why do women have to do everything like a man? What is there to prove? Either you got off or you didn't. If you do squirt, where the hell is it coming from? your urethra. Duh. Not your clit. Ladies, get over it and just focus on getting your rocks off.

No, dude. There's research. Check the links. The urethra is where semen comes out too, darlin', and that don't make it piss.

Wanting to experience a full range of sexual enjoyment doesn't mean you're trying to be like the guys; it means you want to know what your body is capable of. Everyone's body is different; they don't all do the same things under the same set of conditions. And if we know anything from history, it's that the popular conception of sexual response in the human (and heck, even primate) female is woefully misguided. Not very long ago, and I'm speaking in mere decades and not centuries, we were told that there is only one "real" orgasm and it has nothing to do with the clitoris. There's not a lot of agreement over the function and evolution of the female orgasm, even to this day -- in fact, one theory posits that it is an evolutionary "oops" -- so by that token you could argue that even having an orgasm is trying to do it like a man.

I hope my point is clear: that sexual response, female AND male, varies widely, and to discount the possibility of something existing because it hasn't happened to you is pretty much what male researchers have been doing to women for centuries.

M, I don't think anyone's worried about doing it for any reason other than curiosity, new experience, and/or fun. Actually, I don't think anyone's worried about doing it at all. Seems to me it's just a point of curiosity for a lot of people who may have seen it and been all, 'whaaaaa?' or people who experienced it and were all 'whooooo?'
Some people do and some people don't, but that doesn't make it implausible or unreal.

That blanket is awesome. So much sexxxier than a raggedy bleach-stained Buzz Lightyear towel (folded backwards so I don't feel like a pedophile)!!

I don't know what to say about squirting. It's real. I think I've done it a few time but not in the water-fountain-stream type way. If you bear down like you're having a baby, even more comes out! Or, that's what...I've...heard.......

True dat on the urethra analogy (I was too focused on the clit) but sorry ladycakes, but I still vote pee. Your *research* links above sell products (books!) so of course they promote it as a real phenomena. I did a quick google search for some scientific literature, and it seems as if the jury is still out. Just because there is "ejaculate like material" in your pee, doesn't make the act full on ejaculating in my opinion, but maybe I'm just splitting pubic hairs. I'm open to more scientific evidence, though!

rebekah! to infinity and beyond. fantastic.

gretchen, guys have actually asked you that? that's a dead giveaway that you're about to have the lamest sex of. your. life. because what he's really saying is that he's watched paid professionals have sex more than he's actually had human contact.

i've never experienced female ejaculation. personally,i'm just happy if i meet a guy has mastered the basics (read: can find the clit). i mean...how fucking difficult is it? when i was younger, i totally thought it was me. especially since the male reaction is usually something along the lines of "oh, you're one those girls that takes forever to cum..."

no, asshole. you're just completely unqualified. now that i'm older and wiser and basically don't give a fuck, i'm pretty much like "let me do it. you can watch if you want. or you can leave. your choice."

Well, we have some peripheral research on the tissue involved:

Wow, look at this woman's publications! http://nursing.rutgers.edu/faculty_staff/directory/beverly_whipple Too bad some of those studies are from the '80s and I can't find them. Oh wait, here's one:

Most of the studies are old enough that you have to pay to get the whole thing.

Anyway. Yes, there is a wide variation in research, but enough analyses have shown a different chemical makeup of the ejaculate liquid (different from urine) that it's certainly not beyond the pale that it's a real phenomenon. Posited sources of the fluid include Skene's glands.

Oh, here's a fun article from Scientific American!

Leave it to Jo to consult the literature to lend evidence to the argument! And yes, while most of the studies are old and I'm sure there are no randomized controlled trials, I would argue that the paucity of literature is most likely due to the fact that it's probably really difficult to come up with a foolproof experimental design.

I also wanted to say that not EVERY orgasm I have is accompanied by a deluge. But it does happen sometimes. And I enjoy it. And my enjoyment of it has nothing to do with wanting to be like a man or prove something.

But hey, maybe those who voted pee ARE right (though in my case, my pre-sex urine is not similar to whatever the hell it is that squirts out of me in the throes of getting it on...I mean, I'd have to wonder how the color, odor, and specific gravity of my urine changed so damn quickly?). And if they are, I'm cool with that...because I piss excellence. OH!!!

First of all, let's not be so quick to dismiss something so awesome and pleasurable just because it's commonly considered a guy thing. Would you dismiss the joy of oral sex for a lady because guys dig blow jobs? I think not.
I am not suggesting I want to ejaculate because I want to do everything men can, rather, because i want to explore my body and all the pleasurable possibilities therein.

P.S. if it were just about peeing on myself or my lover, I'd call it a golden shower and be done with it.

HAaaa justagirl.

It just really rubs me the wrong way (ha!), the devaluing of an experience and in a really dismissive tone, no less. When you're talking about something as scientifically "mysterious" as female sexual response, you are out in the tall weeds as far as firm conclusions, and maybe that's because there's a huge natural variation and maybe that's because we don't collectively know how to ask the right questions and formulate the right studies. That means it's all the more important to consider subjective reporting, and to do so respectfully.

Here's a study design: I'll make up a jar of urine and a jar of the other stuff and send it COD to whomever wants to do the Pepsi challenge.

Also, any men wish to weigh in? If you have experienced this with someone, did it look, act, smell, or taste like urine?

Nah, I think the men won't touch this one. They're all in the shower because they're "still...not...clean" after realizing that we've peed all over them despite adequate science and anecdotal evidence to the contrary.

I saw the Rutgers nursing (Whipple et al) and still am not convinced, sorry. And it's not *dismissive*, I simply don't feel like I have enough evidence to agree. And so what if you peed at climax? My thought a few hours later is this: If it feels good, do it! But then again I'm old school. And totally loved Ms. LadyMoist's comments.

It's not dismissive to disagree or to remain unconvinced, but darn tootin' it's dismissive to say "Ladies, get over it," oh yes indeedy. I guarantee you there are plenty of women who have firsthand experience differentiating between peeing during sex and ejaculating.

Old school = Masters and Johnson, I guess. They didn't believe in female ejaculation either!

Jo, I spit my diet coke all over my antique wooden desk when you mentioned the pepsi challenge. If I weren't laughing I would have vomited. I don't want to drink my jizz straight up but kissing my lover after he's gone down on me is no big deal. And tasting my own breastmilk was cool too.

Gretchen, LOL!!!

Bridget, I'm still feeling warm and fuzzy from our antidepressant banter yesterday.

I love the Peery sisters. They ALL piss excellence and have phenomenal vocabularies to boot.

Yes, I will keep doing it and thank you for your blessing. But I'm telling you, man...I DID NOT PEE AT CLIMAX! Anyone who knows me personally knows that I would be the first person to admit to peeing myself. I'm not squeamish about bodily functions in the least and don't have some complex that would lead me to deny/ignore legitimate stress incontinence by calling it something else just so I wouldn't get grossed out. I am fully aware that, particularly if one is amply hydrated, urine can be almost clear/odorless, but it just doesn't seem logical that my pre-sex urine would be yellow and have a particular odor and then, not fifteen minutes later, without additional hydration (or sudden onset Diabetes Insipidus), I experience a marked change in color (i.e. I expel a substantial amount of completely clear urine) and odor. I'm sorry that there are not enough peer-reviewed, current studies of the highest evidence level on this topic; I guess the only way you might be convinced is if you took the "Pepsi Challenge" (as Jo put it) yourself, but I'm willing to bet you wouldn't be down. But I don't need to convince you; you have a right to your skepticism and opinions. But just because you haven't experienced it yourself and the body of evidence is not sufficient by your standards doesn't mean that it does not happen. And I don't appreciate being told to "get over it" or the implication that my experience with female ejaculation is somehow reflective of a need to try to be like the boys. And who the hell said anything about ANYTHING coming out of a clit? It's not an even an orifice (unless you're a spotted hyena...).

Awwww...me too, Rebekah, me too! Anytime you wanna talk about psychotropics or anything else for that matter, come sit on my virtual porch :).

It happens over here. I'd have Mr. Milkstained chime in but then he'd be all, "let's do it! get the webcam!" and frankly, I'm just not into it right now.

It's not pee. There's simply no way. You know how I know? Because I STILL HAVE TO PEE once the sexing is over. Also, there have been times when I feel like it's going to happen but then it doesn't, and then I have gotten this weird, too-full feeling and then I walk around with some sort of g-spot equivalent of blue balls for a few days until I can do it again (by myself or with someone else, yes) and then I eat a grape and jizz in my pants and it's like a 2nd layer of relief.

The orgasms that come along with squirting, for me, are so totally different than the "usual" ones. Way more, uh, birth-like? Mr. Milkstained has said that now that I've had kids he can hear the definite link btw getting fucked & pushing out babies.

Also, I have liberator wedge & ramp. We bought them a couple years ago from drugstore dot com with our Flex Spending account debit card. No lie!

WELL PUT, Milkstained. About the birthiness! I think I've made that comment myself!

I'm a guy and it has been my lifelong goal to improve my repertoire of TTP(Tactics, Techniques, and Procedures). I've made women cum in countless ways. Ranging from kissing the neck to fucking their ass. I HAVE helped a girl squirt. It's not the end all be all. It's just another shiny tool in my tool box. I will say that I don't care if she shoots straight gasoline out there is still no denying the phenomenon or the pleasure it provides.
No girl is exactly like another physically or mentally. They all respond differently to different stimuli. Hence the figurative tool box.
In my opinion the makeup of the fluid it is purely academic. I simply don't care what it is.
If one day some lady tells me that the only way she can cum is to make herself vomit then I will take that road less traveled.

Yay Milkstained! I almost peed actual pee reading your comment. I know what you mean about squirting orgasms being different/more cathartic than the "usual" ones. I can't make the connection between said catharsis and birth, because I had C-section (and frankly, if my orgasms even remotely resembled major abdominal surgery, I'd be disturbed), but I can imagine.

I also want the wedge and ramp, but I'll just have to scrimp and save the way I did to buy the Slanket.

@ Christian: Right on. Also, you said 'tool'. Three times. Thanks for getting out of the shower of shame (that I made up and you obviously weren't in) to weigh in on the matter. The "figurative tool box" reminded me to overshare the fact that I have an actual tool box...with a lock and everything. And GET THIS: it's called (i.e. actually says on the box by some happy accident) THE ACTION PACKER! I remember hearing an ad for a service called black box or something where, in the event of your death, the company will somehow get to your house before your family does and rid the place of porn and sex toys so you won't be posthumously mortified. And now I don't have to purchase said service cause the whole internet knows. DON'T TOUCH THAT DAMN BOX!

That's what SHE said!

I am a lady, and I have had sex with several ladies who ejaculate. Only one time did I ever think that it was actually piss, and that was during a whole day of sexcapades with a lady who ejaculated several times, peed once maybe (due to sexual stimulation) and then ejaculated some more. (It was yellow and smelled like coffee-piss.) I think there are times when sexy things cause us to pee, but they are much less common (and no less valid/fun) than the times that women actually ejaculate. I personally have ejaculated a couple times, but it usually requires more stimulation than my delicate flower can handle, and I end up feeling like my urethra was overworked from the intensity of vaginal stimulation. Most of the time, I am THRILLED when my ladyfriend ejaculates, and I know how to make it happen and encourage it. Sometimes I just don't want it in my mouth, because while it doesn't taste like piss, it does taste different from the way ladyjuices taste, and it's not as enjoyable to me. Also, it's much less predictable than when you're "essing some d" and the dude ejaculates. You can feel that happening and you know what it's going to be like, whereas female ejaculation doesn't happen the same way every time, and sometimes women squirt from things that don't normally cause that reaction.

"Essing some d"! I love it!! And I also found your perspective on the matter interesting and enlightening.

It's true, GOV. Sometimes I squirt just from eating a big bowl of Frankenberry.


That question mark was supposed to be an exclamation point, dammit. Also: thank you, Jo, for resurrecting the monster cereal motif.

Like Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and BooBerry, it can never die...because it is ALREADY DEAD.

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  • the modernity ward
    Jo's old blog! Chock full of comedy, ruthless honesty, bullshit, and cooters. Lots of cooters.