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10/12/2011

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Since you brought it up, on two separate occasions someone Jo knows ruined "sexcapades" with me by uttering the phrase "Hey, is that a birth mark?"

my POSH once remarked after an incident, 'we have twin zits'. there was a brief dry spell after that....

0i should add that, like jo, i had a ton of tools in my box (heeheee). i spent years just trying to overcome the adult-onset acne i had on my face. proactiv finally did it, so i tried it on my arse, which only exacerbated the situation.

Who would have thought that something that worked on your face wouldn't work on your butt? I can hardly tell them apart, and I'm practically a doctor.

I like ingrown pubic hairs! Sadly, I don't have Tourette's.

I don't really care about how butt zits look, likely because anything different is a welcome distraction for the sheer volume of cellulite that is my ass and saddlebags. Plus, I don't get it on anymore. Maybe when I have some potential lovin' I can add some constructive chatter to this concern! In the meantime, I just enjoy popping those bastards. :D

Gretchen, you mean to say that Proactiv ex-ass-erbated your situation. All joking aside, I rarely if ever get bimples. I do however, get little bumps on the outside of my hips where my pants must rub or something. It's not really acne, more friction bumps. Don't quite understand those. Skirts are my friend, I suppose.

Have any of you tried the mother of all acne medications, Retin A, followed by a band aid on top to keep the medicine on? At night-time, you could apply it on what ever sort of frown lines you may or may not have going on your face, and additionally treat your ass, but like I said, with a band-aid so keep the medicine in place.

Or maybe find a love interest who is a lover of popping?

i do not want to add butt-zit popping to my repertoire!

I have never had a butt zit and don't know any woman who has. Y'all should be embarASSed for being so nASSty!

Butt seriously: I've had success with regular use of Murad acne body wash/scrub (the active ingredient of which is salicylic acid, which Jo claims doesn't work...but I personally have had good results). Like Micaela, I thought to suggest Retin-A, which I use on my face for fine lines (which, in addition to butt zits, I ALSO have never had, hehe). My only caveat with Retin-A would be that it's not really a quick fix for a breakout ANYWHERE. It typically takes 8 -12 weeks before the user notices a difference, and many notice that their acne gets worse before it gets better. Plus, it's meant to be applied in a very thin layer (i.e. there should be no residue left after applying it...if you put a gauze pad to your face or butt or wherever after application and it sticks, you've applied too much), so I'm not sure putting a band-aid over a Retin-A covered butt zit would be advised.

Also: Isn't a butt zit typically folliculitis or a furuncle or some shit caused by bacterial infection? Because if it is, don't pop it/lance it yourself because you might spread the infection and get an acute case of butt rot. And I know this because I attempted a DIY I&D on an abscess on my finger and had to be taken to the hospital on New Year's Day by two raucous older sisters who scared the ER staff with their antics and LAUGHED AT ME when I had to get a shot of Keflex to the butt.

Oh, the ER staff was laughing too. It was pretty fucking funny.

And for the record, that someone in the story from the first comment? Was NOT ME. Proof being that *I* would know a butt zit when I saw it.

Micaela, I think that suggestion would horrify even Dan Savage.

And Bridget, "furuncle" is a delightfully old-timey gross word that deserves more airtime. Get on that.

OMG I meant Rocephin. I had a shot of Rocephin in the butt. Because Keflex is a PO cephalosporin. Yeah, yeah, shut up...I know nobody cares.

I got a 6% salicylic acid mousse (MOUSSE) from my derm, very cheap (with or without insurance). Works significantly better and waythefuck faster than 6% OTC. That said, I used it on my elbows (forty sucks for elbows). I suspect that while YMMV, butt skin would respond favorably. In fact, I'm going to go try it now and will report back on Friday.

Micaela - the bumps on your sides are probably keratosis pilaris. Glycolic or salicylic acid; experiment. If you're younger, it'll probably take less to work. If you're not (40+), then you might need bigger (Rx) guns. Or if you don't care, I don't either. ;)

I keep coming back to read comments and get the double finger from Jo. It makes my day. :D

Oh how could finding a love interest who is an expert and interested popper be horrifying? Y'all are a bunch of pussies. (There, I got in the lady bit parts). I kind of think that sort of person would be indispensable. I mean have you even read "When You are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris? And feck yeah, I'm like way over 40, so I guess the bumpies are going to require large guns or just denial.

Acid Mousse! That would be a great band name! If my fictitious bands Toxic Megacolon, Axilla and the Tail of Spence, and Acid Vagina break up, I'm totally gonna use that.

I like DermaDoctor's KP Duty for keratosis pilaris. Unfortunately, one of the active ingredients is urea, which is excreted by the kidney as a component of urine, so for people who get all angry sounding about things that may or may not involve pee like female ejaculation, it might not be the best product. XOXO

I heart I.P. Freely! DermaDoctor here I come .... no pun intended.

I have a confession: EYE am I.P. Freely. Although I figured y'all would see through my attempt at anonymity. It was the virtual world equivalent of the fake nose/mustache/glasses disguise. But anyway, all joking aside: that KP Duty lotion is the shit. A little on the pricey side, but it's the only thing I've ever seen results with (and I've filled many an Rx for LacHydrin and other similar remedies). The scrub by KP Duty is overrated though.

Yeah, the scrub? Definitely piss-poor. Ahem.

Snrk. :)

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