Joanna:
My reproductive years have been divided pretty evenly between taking sensible precautions NOT to get pregnant and feeling like a total chump for ever passing up any opportunity TO get pregnant as I found myself injecting synthetic hormones into the fat where my jeans dig in if I sit down too long. "I'll never use birth control again, and just take as many as I get," I proclaimed confidently, assuming that might total zero, or possibly one.
For a long time that was working pretty well, what with all the subfertility, and then when Sophia was two, a mere couple months after my period returned (I know, right?! Talk about your lactational amenorrhea), I popped a second pink line and whaddaya know, it stuck. And is currently wearing footie pajamas with penguins, and insisting on one more drink of water.
And then my period came back even sooner this time -- eighteen months, a mere eyeblink for me -- and it got regular. And stayed regular. Turns out all those things I do to manage my PCOS -- taking metformin, eating mostly protein and vegetables and healthy fats, exercising -- well, they actually WORK. So hey, my bloodwork looks great and now I have regular periods without pharmaceutical assistance for the first time since EVER, and maybe this is the height of hubris but I kind of feel like if I wanted to get knocked up it might conceivably (har!) happen.
Except now I got some shit I need to take care of. Like finish my prereqs and get into nursing school and GO to nursing school and once in a while wipe my ass without an audience. And babies have a way of interfering with all of those activities. Because of my history of hellish reactions to exogenous hormones (from the Pill to the subcutaneous shots, I FEEL IT ALL) I didn't want any of the hormonal methods of birth control. Which left barriers and IUDs.
Oh, did I mention my history of ectopic pregnancy? Used to be that disqualified you for an IUD. So we bought condoms and then I came up with a million reasons that we didn't need to use one JUST THIS ONCE IT WILL TOTALLY BE FINE so I asked for a cervical cap and they don't make those anymore and so I got a diaphragm and had to chase all the fuck around town looking for one BIG ENOUGH FOR MY GIANT CUNT and then I think it might've actually been a little too big. At any rate it was always uncomfortable. For everyone involved. Especially all the pharmacists I harrassed.
Also? Some men are very sensitive to spermicides.
I had resigned myself to monthly nail-biting sessions when a good buddy pointed out that the IUD recommendations had been updated recently, meaning that even with my history of ectopic pregnancy I could convince a nice lady to shoehorn a little copper T into my ladyparts. The putting-in was just fine, and the bleeding wasn't a big deal. I expected a couple heavy months. I did NOT expect the string to have to be readjusted by an unpleasantly surprised husband as often as it needed -- although now that I mention it, it's been a while since it was a problem -- and even months later I still reliably have midcycle bleeding. Not spotting, either. BLEEDING. For a couple days. Which is not cool but preferable to the alternative of BABIES. I forget about it when it isn't happening so I never do anything about it and just deal. Periods are pretty normal by now, though.
So. Yeah. Hormone-free Paragard works for me. It does highlight the relative paucity of options, though -- there's not really much variety. There are hormones, there are barriers/spermicides, and then there's copper. (Mirena counts as hormones in my book.) If you are in a position to require contraception (for example, nekkid on your back with your heels to the sky), have you found something that works well for both parties?
Gretchen:
My period returned at a whopping 6 weeks postpartum with both babies. I have never in my life used any form of birth control other than the occasional condom (oh, shut up) and knowing when I ovulate (I am so regular, it's stupid). So I've decided to go on Mirena (my periods have always been excruciatingly painful and heavy) and would love to hear of any experience with it.
